This Is Why I Do This

A reflection on blockage, Dopamia, and a slow breath.

This entire journey with my paintings began with a feeling of blockage.

Something within me wanted to move forward, but I could not pass through. At first, I tried to push my way ahead, to find the path through will. But the movement did not come from there.

It began only when I stopped trying to force something. When I allowed myself to pause and listen.

And in that in between space, the first impulse arrived. That is where the process began.

Then they appeared, almost like inner figures: Dopamia and Oxytina. Two energies, two rhythms. A balance to explore, not through the intellect, but through color, body, and presence.

From there, the journey continued into the next painting, the one that became a figure like a breath.

This project has given me far more than I could have anticipated. It has awakened an unexpected sense of desire and joy. Not because it turned out “well,” but because it became alive.

I have begun listening to music again. Creation has opened more senses. I have done a great deal, and at the same time not tried to do anything in particular. I have simply followed what wanted to emerge.

That is why I want to share this. Not to show what I have made, but perhaps to allow you, as a reader, to recognize something within yourself.

Perhaps you, too, are standing in something that feels still. Perhaps something is waiting to breathe within you.

When movement begins with a slow breath, that is when we know we are home.

That is why I do this.